Her Mother and I

Today I am thinking of the mother.

When I started this story the mother, the queen, was the evil one.

She was a cliche.

A one-dimensional person who was just driven by self-interest.

But I was young, I did not understand that no one, however single-minded, is never that simple. Even though motives may seem obvious they are not they are twisted into the character and the sum of all experiences of that person.

You can't understand or unravel them. Only the person that is taking the steps can know the direction they are heading.

So, this simply evil woman whose sole purpose seemed to be to exclude her daughter and ignore her son deepened.

I understand that this is because I am a mother and when you become a mother you take on so many different drives. Nothing matters but your children and there is very little you would not do to protect them, even betray them.

Suddenly this evil woman who seemed to want nothing but the worst for her children was doing all she could to protect her daughter even if it did not seem that way.

A woman trapped in a loveless marriage, blamed for the imbecility of her only son and for the second child, a daughter, that ripped all fertility from her womb.

If she could not bear children and was unloved where did that leave her in a world where women were only judged by their children.

Did she look on as her husband denied her even the joy of raising her daughter? Was she forbidden to show any outward affection and so crushed it all inside until there was nothing but a hardened outer shell and a desire for more for her daughter?

I began to think about this.

All the paths I set out for her meant her husband died, her son died, and the only remaining part of that family was her daughter.

Yet she abandoned her only daughter.

My mind is in a spiral with the queen. I cannot imagine there would be any circumstances in which I would leave my daughter, but then, thankfully, I have never had to face such a choice. Could everything she did be interpreted as motherly love?

Love comes in many ways.

It comes in the gentle remembrance's; such as how someone takes their tea to the massive gestures of love like a wedding or other proclamation, but it also creeps into our lives in other ways in the silent things that we do when no one is watching or the acts that may seem so heinous but are actually the greatest form of love.

Did Tiba want to love her daughter? I have a line that I like. The princess said bluntly 'it is easy not to grieve when you don't love your children.' and the reply is 'I was never allowed to love you.' I am not sure how that is said or how it is responded to, but the thought is there, and I know now that the queen isn't as simple as I first made her.

In her way, she is a victim too.

Photo by IsaaK Alexandre KaRslian on Unsplash